I’d like to tell you about a low phase in my life. I had friend (or so I thought) who was never happy. Nitpicking, finding fault and blaming others for her messes were part of her daily routine. To the extent that she once even blamed a McDonalds waiter for not telling her to order a meal other than the one she ordered because she would change her mind later.
Was I spared? No sir! My wardrobe, personality, sense of humor, preference of books over movies… everything I believed in was ridiculed by her. I kept trying to change myself to fit her mould (as I said, not a phase I’m proud of). The more I tried, the more I hated myself. And the louder her criticism became. I kept going deeper into a shell, bordering on depression. Until one day I had enough and walked out on the “friendship”. No amount of pleading or coercion has convinced me to reverse the stand.
You see, I let her govern my life. Why was I so stupid? Well, that is what I want to talk about.
Man, by nature, is a social animal. And part his social nature includes the desire to please people. That’s okay. We all need to please people so that we can live with them. Think about it. You have kept the people who can please you close to you, isn’t it?
But when we take this to the next level, the trouble begins. What do I mean by the next level? Well, the desire to please people who are never satisfied.
|Please dump negative people|
Don’t mistake this post as one blaming women. I have seen middle aged men being repeatedly vehement and scathing in their remarks about everyone else. Some have chosen to ignore, bust most others have tried to toe in line. The latter, especially youngsters, have gone out of their way to please the unhappy bastards, only to be ridiculed further. Repeated dialogues of “Shame on you”, “How can you even think you can…” have made people try harder to please the self-proclaimed perfectionists, only to be demeaned further. Those perfectionists, ironically, are people who only worsen something when they stick their noses into it. And yet, the vast majority spends all its energy in trying to please them. This happens everywhere… corporate, friends, blogging, get-togethers, seminars, home… everywhere.
Too many times we anchor our happiness on endorsement from others. However, remember that people who keep finding fault with others draw their happiness from such lowly acts. Trying to please these emotional vampires is impossible. You only make yourself unhappy in the process because you keep going against what you stand for and don’t even see positive results.
Confident people tide over such pessimists. This confidence stems from belief. Belief that they are worth something, that they don’t need someone an opinion on how they are living their lives. Believe me, you are better off without pessimists however much they claim to offer “constructive criticism for your own good.” Remember, every person is a product of the 5 people she spends most time with. If you are spend time with people who are forever bickering and criticizing, do you have any idea how much you will hurt your mind and soul?
It’s time to move on. Leave the wrong people behind. Life functioned before them, and it will after them too. And believe me, once you do so, you will be happier.
Do you agree? Or disagree? Drop a comment.
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