Why I'm Secretly Glad That BJP Lost to AAP in the Delhi Elections

67 out of 70 seats! ‘Landslide’ is the word being used for Aam Aadmi Party’s (AAP) victory in Delhi. ‘Comprehensive’ is an understatement, isn't it? I’ve started following politics pretty late, but even those who have been watching this field closely for decades will consider this worthy of being termed ‘historic’.

A disclaimer up front: I am not an AAP supporter. In fact, I am no specific party supporter - I just am anti Congress and pro growth. This is why, as you may have guessed, my current loyalties lie with Narendra Modi. The man has good intent and is working towards making India a better place, although the media conveniently fails to report more than 70% work being done.

I had a ringside view of the Delhi Elections campaigning as I was there from 3rd - 7th February. I watched news channels, spoke to the aam aadmi (common man, not the party volunteers), and witnessed political campaigns at various places. My ears rang with the '5 saal Kejriwal' song being played everywhere.

While Tarun and I agreed that it was better to vote for even the Congress rather than AAP, I am secretly glad that AAP beat the Bharati Janata Party (BJP). Can’t say that I’m happy at the mauling that the BJP received in the results though. Anyway, here is why I am glad that AAP won.

"Ro lo, behenji"

1. Kiran Bedi would not make a good CM
   Many people weren’t pleased with the BJP’s decision to bring Bedi onboard as their CM candidate. Obviously the party had its reasons which we don’t know, or it took a wrong call. Happens. But seeing that woman cry on TV saying that she was overwhelmed by the love she received, cooking roti at Gurudwaras and pulling off other antics, most of us said “Yaar, yeh nautanki hai (man, this is drama).” And it’s very hard for people to trust someone fond of drama (Arvind Kejriwal seems to be an exception though). Bedi had a lot of foot-in-mouth situations. If she had become CM, she would’ve done more of it and given BJP haters more chances to ridicule the party, further adding to Modi’s headache.
   
   
2. I stand to gain, whether I am or wrong
   I was ecstatic when Kejriwal became Delhi’s CM in 2014. Like everyone, I believed that Delhi had done the right thing. The rest, as we know, is history. Kejriwal then returned to Delhi with promises and strategic campaigning. And Delhi-ites have lapped it up. Now is the time to see how much Arvind Kejriwal lives up to his promises. After all, hasn’t the AAP lambasted Modi the most for failing to keep up to his.
   
   
   Kejriwal’s interviews on TV were interesting. He would never look at the camera, except when he was accusing others. I’m no body language expert, but have the ability to pick subtle hints thanks to reading and observations. And a man who keeps looking elsewhere when someone is talking to him - well, he’s lying.
   
   
   Most TV reporters didn’t grill Kejriwal. Even the #RavishAsksKejriwal interview on NDTV looked staged. They just asked him questions which he could answer easily. No one asked him about how he planned to interact with people whose feet he stepped on in his cameo stint, or the condition he left Delhi in. He talked about populist measures like setting up free WiFi in Delhi for 200 crore (mind you, it’s gonna cost more than that) and free water. He didn’t speak about improving the infrastructure condition in Delhi. And trust me, the condition of roads and traffic in Delhi is depressing. Also, by declaring that they will punish every corrupt person, AAP risks entering the same state as the Congress - policy paralysis. This is because bureaucrats will be terrified of pushing things forward lest they get punished. This is what got the Congress into a rut.
   
   
   Kejriwal kept repeating one thing in all interviews: “The Delhi treasury has ₹5,000 crore in it.” I get the feeling that he has an eye on it, that crony capitalism will occur even with the AAP in power.
   But you know the advantage of being a pessimist, like I am when it comes to the AAP? You’re either proved right or pleasantly wrong. If AAP proves me wrong, I’ll be glad for the people of Delhi. And if I’m proved right… well, you can expect to read an “I told you so” post.
   
   
3. The BJP can be an opposition party
   Yeah yeah. The BJP doesn’t have enough seats to be in the opposition. And the AAP has been really classy in offering the LoP position to them. But hey, this move by the AAP is more tactical than classy. They know the repercussions from the central government for denying the BJP an opposition place. And if you are reading this and saying “Oh come on! This is blackmail”, then snap out of it. Politics is rampant at your workplace, among relatives and friends, everywhere. A state and country are much bigger. Every politician has to take it in his/her stride.
   
   Rather than having to prove their mettle in Delhi like across India, BJP’s party members can simply play devil’s advocate to AAP (don’t know how effective that will be though).
   
4. The BJP won't get complacent
   However good the intentions, complacency always creeps in. In fact, it's been an Achilles' Heel in human nature. With victories in many states, complacency could have been creeping into the BJP's ranks. This demolition at the hands of AAP will stifle that. The BJP will know that they can't take anything for granted and have to work towards growth and development to stay in the good books of common man. And that was primarily why people voted for Modi in the 1st place.

Kejriwal has a second chance to prove himself in front of the same people. And that is so rare! Forget the ‘5 saal Kejriwal’ song. Kejriwal’s 1st step will be successfully manage 5 days, and then 5 months. After that, we can wonder what he plans to do for Delhi for 5 years. So all you people rejoicing over AK’s victory, remember, this is just the beginning. The true test lies ahead.

A Question to 'Freedom of Speech' And AIB Roast Supporters

I have just returned from a long awaited trip to North India. I witnessed the Kila Raipur Rural Olympics, visited the Golden Temple, Wagah border, Akshardham and saw many other places in Delhi and Punjab. I drove more than 500 miles in 5 days but barely felt exhausted because the weather was so damn good.

In Delhi, I caught up with a friend - Anmol Ahuja a.k.a. The Preachy Professor. A graphics designer by passion, he has moved up the ranks to become a manager. Anmol has always come across as a balanced and mature bloke. When we met a few days ago, being social media enthusiasts, we discussed a topic which has angered many people - the takedown of the AIB roast video. Anmol has an amazing perspective on things, backed by facts. “You’re a very wise guy. You have a mind way more mature than that of a 27 year old” I said. “I’m 23”, he corrected. Anmol is truly unique.

But I’ll shower praises on Anmol in another post (maybe). This one is addressed to the people who are furious at AIB allegedly being asked to take down their 'Roast' video. Allegedly. I love that word.

I saw the below image on Facebook with a status update which implied that abusing in real life is okay, so it should be allowed in reel life too. Well, we’re okay with having sex in real life too, right? So what’s your demand going to be? A fully blown and legal porn industry? “No. There is a huge difference in porn and profanity”, you say. But going by the above logic, because it is okay to have sex in real life (and enjoyable too), it should be okay to upload videos of consenting adults in the act watched by consenting people too. So we can make porn legal in India too and not be offended when people watch it in public places. And our culture can continue to go to hell.

We like picking outrageous things from the west. It makes us feel cool. I mean, AIB couldn’t even come up with a new name. They had to rip the one used in USA. But why ‘be inspired’ by only the bullshit? Why don’t we pick the good stuff? Like learning to respect each other the way they do, especially the lesser fortunate people who serve us at hotels and other places. Or following proper etiquette while driving. Or not littering? Why don’t we allow people to pursue different interests instead of making them choose only engineering or medicine? Why don’t we see more responsible single fathers? Why don't we see a balance of household work between men and women? Why don’t we force organizations to be more sensitive to their employees’ needs?

We know how ‘sensible’ the young parents of today are. They care more about their smartphones and tabs than about their toddlers. Imagine them watching these videos on full blast in front of 3-4 year olds. And one day, when they walk home, they are welcomed with ‘Behenchod’ by their child. They might laugh and feel proud - after all a 3 year old calling his father a ‘sister-fucker’ is funny, right? Or is it? Or imagine your mother browsing through YouTube, an AIB video filled with choicest profanity comes up in the suggestions and she innocently clicks on it. Will you laugh if she walks up to and says that she was disturbed by what she saw? (By the way, when my mom went to see Delhi Belly because it was an Aamir Khan movie, she left within 10 minutes and came home almost in tears).

Anmol made a great point.”You don’t need profanity to promote good content”, he said. “And if you are using something controversial, it was your intent to court controversy all along.” Mind you, AIB knew exactly what they were doing. And they did it to evoke these responses from you which further adds to their publicity. They don’t give a rat’s ass about what you really think. They know that they aren’t talented enough. So they resort to toilet humor and cheap antics like this to create a wave of sympathy to suck you in.

It’s time you stop paying attention to this nonsense and channelize your energy into fruitful and constructive things. Even if you protests, make sure it is for the right things, not those which probably shame your parents and your children.

1 Fundamental Flaw in Parenting Since Centuries Which Needs Fixing

One Sunday morning, a friend invited me to his house for a cup of tea after we completed our jog. I like the positive vibes his house gives out and am particularly fond of his daughter. I asked if she was awake and he said “yes”. So I went over. I occasionally glanced at what she was doing while sipping tea and chatting with my friend. I don’t intrude in children’s private spaces unless invited. The sofa we sat on had wide arm rests, but I was visibly discomforted by keeping my arm on it while holding the cup of tea. His daughter noticed, placed coasters on both arm rests and said to us, “Now keep your cups here while you talk.” It was amazing how comfortable things became after that simple step. We sipped tea, placed our cups on the coasters and continued talking. Oh, did I mention that she was 2 years old then?

There are more incidents like this. Kamini Lakhani, who works with children on autism spectrum, informs me that some of the most profound insights on life which she has gained have come from 9 year olds on the spectrum. And it’s unbelievable how much they know. One of her students is a whiz when it comes to airplane models. The other - a splendid painter - knows when she is stressed without even seeing her.

I am reminded of Groucho Marx’s quote: “Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail of it.” Do you know who invented the concept of SMSes, way back in the early 90s? No, it wasn’t Nokia. It was Finnish teens - boys who were too scared to ask girls out on a date and girls who wanted to keep their BFFs updated real time about what was happening on the date.

Since the event at the friend’s house, I’ve started asking more children for solutions to problems. As said before, I don’t treat them like children unless they are less than 1 1/2 years old. “Baccha hi toh hai" (s/he’s just a child) is no longer part of my lingo, and it is painful to see parents dismiss their children’s intelligent suggestions saying “Beta, abhi tum bacche ho” (you’re just a child now).

As parents, it is your responsibility to get your child involved with you as soon as possible. There is no ripe age to begin. The 1st 5 years are their most crucial ones. In fact, I have observed that children who are involved in their fathers’ and mothers’ interests from a very young age often turn out more confident than their peers and excel at something (to hell with research). Steve Jobs’ adopted father imbibed the importance of beauty in him from a very early age. See how the world benefited? You’re probably reading this article on a gorgeous iPhone right now. What if Paul Jobs had said “Steve, tum abhi bacche ho, tum nahi samjhoge” (Steve, you won’t understand because you are a child). I was delighted to see my friends Purvesh and Mital take their toddler to Comic Con dressed as Superman! That is the level of involvement I’m talking about.

Shivansh (Superman), Mital (Lara) and Purvesh (Captain America) at Comic Con

It has become awfully easy to ignore our children today. You want your child to stop disturbing you with endless questions? Simply buy her an iPhone or an iPad, install WiFi and banish her to her room. As Nouman Ali says, your child will use these gadgets to find a new set of parents online. Do you want to be a good parent? Then introduce your child to something good which has her hooked from a young age. And be with her, guide her, track her progress. Give her the “teachings” you want to impart constructively. Take care of her diet. More healthy food for the brain and body and less money for junk. And instead of spending time Facebooking about how nasty men are, imbibe values in your child to become a better human (yes, cranky moms, this is aimed directly at you).

It has always been a mistake on our part to be dismissive of children’s opinions instead of being inclusive. If you want your child to make you proud, listen to her. Value her opinions and suggestions. You never know where the next Oprah Winfrey is lurking, unable to show herself because no one will listen to her. Nor do you know which suggestion of her’s will solve a major problem in your life. And for God’s sake, stop counting your sacrifices. Unless Lord Indra begged you to give birth, it is your duty to endure for the child. It is your responsibility to make your child a better human rather than a better slave to the world’s status quo.

I hope we really understand what children need and deserve. They don't crave for fancy phones or junk food. They want to be heard, respected and most importantly, loved! Your thoughts on this? You don’t have to be a parent to have an opinion, you know.

10 New Year Resolutions That Will (Hopefully) Make Me A Better Person

I don’t remember the last time I made a New Year’s Resolution (let alone stick to it). But I read this amazing article by Jeff Haden and thought “Why not make these my New Year’s Resolutions?” MS Dhoni's retirement from test matches has left me with a certain hollowness. I want to be more like him - a composed, intelligent, humble and genuine human being driven by a larger purpose in life. These 10 resolutions should be a good place to start.

1. No waiting until I am convinced I will succeed
   People close to me know that I have been wanting to embark on a project since 2011. Fear (and sheer laziness) have helped me make excuses for 3 years (4 now, since it’s 2015 already). This year, the project will see the light of day. And I will do whatever I’m capable of to make it succeed. If I don’t find time, I will make it.
   
   
2. No being distracted by notifications
   In 2015, schedules will be adhered to… diligently. No more peeking into Facebook or glancing through emails or Whatsapp during those times. As I write this article, the SelfControl app has already been put to work, blocking my access to Facebook, Twitter and Quora. You will see me less on Facebook and taking more time to respond to emails and Whatsapp messages. There, you have been informed.
   
   
3. No blaming others - for anything
   There is a amazing quote on social media - “You cannot build your house on someone else’s property.” This means that people must not rely on others’ platforms to succeed in their online strategies. I think the same holds true for life. This year, whatever happens, I will refrain from saying “I didn’t get what I wanted because of [name].” If I want something, I will do what it takes to get it. The onus is on me, not anyone else. No more blame games. But no attempts to sabotage someone’s spotlight either. Credit will be given wherever it’s due.
   

   

   image Courtesy: Mark Teasdale/Flickr

   
   
4. No checking of my phone while talking to someone
   I’ll try something even harder. I won’t pull my phone out when I am with someone. Even if I do, it will lie silently in a corner, so that I can give the person in front of me the respect s/he deserves. I will bring conversations back to being with people in front of me rather than being with those who are not.
   
   
5. No multitasking
   I suck at multitasking. And it looks like people around are getting even better at it. However, their boats barely move forward. Maybe because we are paddling to move forward, to the left, towards Northeast and Southwest at the same time (I didn’t say NorthWest because you would start talking about Kim Kardashian’s baby). Research shows that multitasking reduces our productivity by up to 50%. So I’ll follow Steve Jobs’ saying “Being busy doesn’t count. What counts is what you are doing to stay busy.” Goodbye multitasking. Hello productivity.
   
   
6. No interrupting
   I've got into the stinkingly bad habit of interrupting people while they speak. I was proud of being an astute listener, but my ego is getting the better of me. In 2015, I will genuinely listen to people without thinking about responding. Once the person finishes her statement, I’ll take a few seconds to frame what I want to say (or ask). And if the person starts speaking in the interim, I’ll start listening again. And if we are talking and I interrupt you, please point it out.
   
   
7. No whining
   I’m responsible for my future. Even if I want to wallow in self-pity, I’ll take a leaf out of Jennifer Anniston’s book. The “Why Me” syndrome and brooding will last 1 evening. The next morning, the focus will return to fixing things.
   
   
8. No relinquishing control to the past
   What’s gone is gone. Nothing can be done about it. I have committed some blunders. Maybe they will come back to haunt me, maybe they won’t. But they won’t decide where I go from here. Each new day is an opportunity to start afresh. I will treat it as one.
   
   
9. No wasting time on people and things that don't matter
   
   Less time watching TV, reading Times of India (ToI-let paper) and other mainstream papers, browsing Facebook and meeting people who believe that the universe is conspiring against them (this includes AAP supporters). More time helping people and sharpening 3 skills which I believe will pay off in the future - communication, music and ‘getting things f**king done’.
   
   
10. No talking behind another person's back
    
    “If it’s not your place to talk to someone about what they’ve done, it’s definitely not your place to talk about them.” I’ve been part of bitchy gossip; hell, I’ve even initiated some of them! This year, the only things that I will say about people behind their backs is how awesome they are. If I have to say something unpleasant, it either will be on the person’s face or won’t come out at all. 

So there they are. My New Year’s Resolutions for 2015. I’m going to periodically track how I’m doing on each of them.

Your turn. What are your resolutions? I would love to hear from you.

A Stupid Trait in Human Beings

I’d like to tell you about a low phase in my life. I had friend (or so I thought) who was never happy. Nitpicking, finding fault and blaming others for her messes were part of her daily routine. To the extent that she once even blamed a McDonalds waiter for not telling her to order a meal other than the one she ordered because she would change her mind later.

Was I spared? No sir! My wardrobe, personality, sense of humor, preference of books over movies… everything I believed in was ridiculed by her. I kept trying to change myself to fit her mould (as I said, not a phase I’m proud of). The more I tried, the more I hated myself. And the louder her criticism became. I kept going deeper into a shell, bordering on depression. Until one day I had enough and walked out on the “friendship”. No amount of pleading or coercion has convinced me to reverse the stand.

You see, I let her govern my life. Why was I so stupid? Well, that is what I want to talk about.

Man, by nature, is a social animal. And part his social nature includes the desire to please people. That’s okay. We all need to please people so that we can live with them. Think about it. You have kept the people who can please you close to you, isn’t it?

But when we take this to the next level, the trouble begins. What do I mean by the next level? Well, the desire to please people who are never satisfied.

Please dump negative people

Don’t mistake this post as one blaming women. I have seen middle aged men being repeatedly vehement and scathing in their remarks about everyone else. Some have chosen to ignore, bust most others have tried to toe in line. The latter, especially youngsters, have gone out of their way to please the unhappy bastards, only to be ridiculed further. Repeated dialogues of “Shame on you”, “How can you even think you can…” have made people try harder to please the self-proclaimed perfectionists, only to be demeaned further. Those perfectionists, ironically, are people who only worsen something when they stick their noses into it. And yet, the vast majority spends all its energy in trying to please them. This happens everywhere… corporate, friends, blogging, get-togethers, seminars, home… everywhere.

Too many times we anchor our happiness on endorsement from others. However, remember that people who keep finding fault with others draw their happiness from such lowly acts. Trying to please these emotional vampires is impossible. You only make yourself unhappy in the process because you keep going against what you stand for and don’t even see positive results.

Confident people tide over such pessimists. This confidence stems from belief. Belief that they are worth something, that they don’t need someone an opinion on how they are living their lives. Believe me, you are better off without pessimists however much they claim to offer “constructive criticism for your own good.” Remember, every person is a product of the 5 people she spends most time with. If you are spend time with people who are forever bickering and criticizing, do you have any idea how much you will hurt your mind and soul?

It’s time to move on. Leave the wrong people behind. Life functioned before them, and it will after them too. And believe me, once you do so, you will be happier.

Do you agree? Or disagree? Drop a comment.

image courtesy: Google Images