The Chinese PM Visits India - Interesting Psychological Lessons

One of the most talked about news in India currently is the arrival of Chinese Prime Minister Xi Jinping, and the promises which he brings along. This post will not focus on what Modi should’ve done, or analyze the economic and political outcomes of the meet. Many articles and discussions will cover those. Instead, I’ll talk about small psychological factors which are evident in the events as they unfold. How those aspects have the potential to change the way we think, how some of them are being used for better results… 

A report in Economic Times read “Deals worth $100 billion are said to be in the works, compared with a mere $35 billion from Japan.” So the Japanese investment news, which until now was being hyped by the Indian media is now being termed ‘mere $35 billion’. Why? Because, according to them, the amount China proposes to invest in India dwarfs the amount which Japan. By no means is $35 billion a nominal amount. But in comparison to $100 billion… well, you get the picture. This just goes to show how comparison clouds our perception. How when we compare 2 things, the smaller one may start appearing insignificant (so to speak) while it may actually be so.

2 critical concerns between India and China are not being discussed in this meeting. The Arunachal Pradesh border conflict and streamlining of processes for faster visa approvals. Many people (especially the Congress) are disappointed that these issues are not being raised. These are sensitive issues and should be addressed as soon as possible, right? Not quite. Being the shrewd tactician that Modi is, he seems to be deploying what is known as the foot-in-door technique. You make the person in front comfortable and then gradually start discussing sensitive points. Then you raise bigger concerns and can expect the person in front to be more receptive, thereby dramatically increasing chances of a positive outcome in your favor.

How Modi is extending the red carpet to China

Day 1 for Xi Jinping was spent experiencing flavors of Ahmedabad - visiting Sabarmati Ashram, savoring a full-course Gujarati thali, witnessing the infrastructure and growth of the city. Modi ensured that he displayed excellent hospitality to a politician of a country which we’re hostile towards. By doing so, he made the Chinese PM comfortable and reduced instances of the proverbial ‘cold air’. Plus, by showcasing Ahmedabad, he focused on an area which he knew as well as the back of his palm. Thus he eliminated all chances to be pointed out instances or asked questions which embarrass him. Modi was in control of every situation all the time.

So you see, however celebrated the profiles of people may be, small aspects which shape our perceptions come into play everyday. These aspects can make or break a relationship or a business deal. Keep in mind that when whether you are implementing a process, attending a meeting or doing mundane chores with your spouse, you are essentially interacting with people. Pay attention to psychological factors because they play a major role in how the person in front responds to you. Mind you, these are not to manipulate anyone; they are simply to ensure everyone walks away satisfied emotionally; no one feels like they lost out.

Are there any tips which you have to share with other readers and me? Of course you do. Share them in the comments section.

What is the Purpose of Your Life?

Sisyphus had betrayed Zeus. As a result, he was cursed by the God of Lightning to push a rock up a hill all day only to see it roll down at night. This, Sisyphus was to do till the end of eternity.

While this may be a fable in Greek’s mythological books, it is quite similar to the lives most of us are living today. Get up at the same time, catch the same transport, do the same work, come home and sleep. Eating lunch at the same time with the same people, watching the same TV shows, using the same Whatsapp all day… how are our lives any different from Sisyphus? Well, for one, we won’t live till the end of eternity. Thank God for that!

Which gets me to the question – why do we do this? Follow the same routine till even monotony starts feeling monotonous? It’s probably because this is our only understanding of life now. We’re searching for a purpose, a reassurance. We’re chasing money today so that we can secure our future tomorrow. Thing is though, the money we have is never enough to own the things we want. So what should we do?

Dalai Lama provides an enlightening insight – The main purpose of life is to seek happiness. Yes, we need food, clothing and shelter. But you don’t need more money, more fame or more success. Money will be enough when we learn to control our wants and desires. Easier said than done, eh? Well, here are some things you can try. Let me know if they work.

First understand the law of causality. This law states that your state of mind is dependent upon the actions you take. Your mindset is bad when you do things which you dislike and good when you do things you like. So you must do more of what you like and less of what you don’t. Don’t stagnate in that job if you don’t wake up in the morning looking forward to it. Switch to something which lets you do what you’re good at. Mind you, you are creative; let nobody tell you otherwise. And until you get the job you want, cultivate a hobby. Read books, learn musical instruments and languages, write, play sports, attend musical concerts… let go of the god damn TV and mobile phone. Try it and see the difference in your mindset in 21 days.

Yet another thing is revising your perception. Stop looking at things as either very good or very bad. Remember that incidents today are a result of what occurred in the past. And it is not necessary that things will stay bad. If things are bad today, they will get better tomorrow. Also, look at people less fortunate than you instead of the wealthier ones. Someone I know regularly distributes drinking water bottles to traffic policemen. And he says, “They politely decline if I offer 2 bottles to 3 of them, saying 1 will suffice. And each time I've offered a bottle, they offer me water from it despite standing in the searing heat for hours. Their attitude of sharing is touching.” So you see. Interacting with people who less fortunate than you will make you feel grateful for your life and improve your Happiness Quotient (HQ?).

Remember, happiness doesn't lie in the TV set, social media, lavish parties or lunches. It lies within you. To be happy, you must tap into your inner good and be compassionate toward others. As Audrey Hepburn said, “For beautiful eyes, see the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

There are many ways to achieve inner happiness. I have listed just 2. Looking forward to your additions in the comments section J

image Courtesy: Google Images

Relativity & its Impact on Perception...

Which circle is larger? For most, it is the 1st. But both are of the same size. That's the point; relativity impacts our perception.

Perception is defined as the process whereby sensory stimulation translates into organized experience. But perception, in simpler terms, is the after effect of what a person experiences in a given situation. It can vary from person to person. Interpretation and perception are inter – linked; interpretation involves making sense of a stimulus.

So you decide to buy a book. It costs $35 at the store you are currently. You decide to go onto www.flipkart.com or www.amazon.com because you believe you will get a better deal. You see it costs $28 on a website (a saving of $7) and you immediately place the order, feeling pleased about having got the book for a bargain. Now, you have to prepare for your brother's wedding and decide to buy a suit (sorry gals for being such a chauvinist, but I thought it would be better to talk about something I know about). You zero down on a suit which costs $407. But a fellow shopper whispers in your ear that the suit is available for $400 at a store 10 minutes away. Do you take that 10 minute drive to save $7 on this instance? Mostly not! But it is the same $7 we are talking about. The saving in both instances should give you the same euphoria. But perception here, is impacted by relativity. The $7 saving looks much more in a $35 deal vis – a – viś a $400 deal. The relative prices of the commodities have made all the difference in our perceptions.

We humans like to compare everything. Our scores with our classmates, our performance in office with our colleagues, our salaries with those of our close friends, etc. We even like to compare between cars, clothes, computers, mobiles, etc. when we want to buy one or even formulate an opinion. Thus, it is not the features of an object/experience that count, but its features relative to another relevant one. We feel demotivated if our existing jobs pay lesser than those of our colleagues, if our clothes or houses or cars are not as good as theirs, and start perceiving our lives as failures. We start losing self – esteem which hampers our work, our thoughts and our lives overall.

One way to get out of this mess is to genuinely be aware of this trap. And to genuinely attempt to steer clear. This can be done by conscious attempts to move away from people/situations which might make us feel inferior or unhappy. Stave clear of people who are influential or who like to flash their wares, which keep changing very often. When we compare our lives with ourselves; what happened in the past and the circumstances we have faced; we will make better sense of it. Being content will lead us to giving our best at work, home and amongst friends. So let your perception be free of any comparison, or the concept of relativity. Try it, and do let me know if you see a visible difference for the better.