5 Reasons Why No One Listens to You

We all have a common complaint with the world – it doesn't listen to us. Our kids, friends, parents, office colleagues – no one listens to us. But they should! They should heed every word we say. And do as we say. After all we know what’s best for them. We know the best way to do things. Right? Wrong!

The world is increasingly becoming louder. People are raising their voices to be heard over others. And you're increasingly getting stressed because people won't listen to you. But why won't they? Honestly, the problem doesn't lie with them. It lies with you.

Here are 5 basic reasons why your kids/spouse/friends/parents/office colleagues/peers won't listen to you. Tell me if you're nodding while reading even 1:

1.) You’re not saying things right: In ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’, Dale Carnegie said “The only way to make someone do something is to make him want to do it.” It’s so good I’m going to repeat it: 

The only way to make someone do something is to make him want to do it. 

Try this: Stand up and tell someone “I want you to _____ (fill in the blanks with what you want done)”. On the other hand, show the person what she stands to gain from doing a task. Study your success rate in each case.

It’s obvious that the 2nd method is more successful. Everyone thinks about just 1 person – himself! Every man has just 1 thought when doing something “What will I get out of it.” So tomorrow if your child isn't listening to you, try telling him in simple language what his benefit is. Eating boring food will make him strong enough to fight the bully, behaving well will make more people like him and he will get more friends. If you want your spouse to help in house cleaning, tell him how sharing responsibilities will take his mind off work and refresh him...you get the drift. Remember, the only way someone will do something when he sees his benefit in it.

2.) You’re interfering too much: You may be a Niccolo Tesla in your field, but interfere too much in other people’s work and kiss your popularity goodbye. Meddlesome people are not appreciated, neither are they sought after. Maybe people will listen to them, but only grudgingly. They don't make true friends and followers; people who align to their way of thought, who listen to what they say and do it because they want to. They only find puppets, and after one point in time, the puppets start slowing them down.

As William McKnight, Chairman of 3M says “If you fence around people, you get sheep. Give them the room they need.” What sound advice! Let people think for themselves. Let your kids do something which isn't critical the wrong way; let your friends go to a restaurant which you've told them is not good. Let your office colleague try something different. She may show you an alternate way of doing things. Else she will learn her own lessons. And trust me, when you speak less, people listen to you more.

3.) Your concepts are not clear: People want to listen to you, but you’re not making sense. Things you are talking about are so complex that listeners have zoned out within a couple of minutes. Your concepts, beliefs and ideas are too hard to comprehend, let alone implement. Are you guilty of these aspects when you speak to someone?

Albert Einstein said “If you can’t explain something simply, you don’t understand it.” I'm going to do it again. I'm going to repeat it.

If you can’t explain something simply, you don’t understand it.

Herb Kelleher had explained the business model of Southwest Airlines to Rollin King on a napkin. When you want to explain something to someone, keep it short and simple. Tell your child or spouse what you want in simple terms briskly. Give your office colleagues a gist of your idea in less than 60 seconds. That will keep your ideas simple. Plus, the human brain comprehends simple ideas and concepts easily. That’s why Apple products are so popular… they’re clear, uncluttered and simple enough to not need a manual.

"I'm not listening to you!"

4.) You’re not listening: You’re busy fiddling with your cell phone, staring at your computer screen, fiddling with pages of a book or admiring the scene around. This makes the talker feel belittled, disrespected. So why will she listen to you? 

Studies show that the human mind mirrors what it sees. So if it sees gloom, it turns sad. If it sees happiness, it is filled with joy. Likewise, if the mind gauges that the person in front is not listening, it won’t listen either. People will give only when they get, and not vice versa. So if you want someone to listen to you, listen to them first.

5.) You’re a self professed ‘Know-It-All’: “I know what we should talk about in this meeting. Listen to me.” “I know how your friends behave on your playground. Don’t lie to me!” “I know how your boss must be. It must be your attitude because of which he troubles you.” “I know how the marketing team must function (though I’m a part of HR).” “I know how economics works (though I've never even touched the subject)”. “I know… don’t tell me.” “I know… don’t teach me.” Have you come across someone like this in your life?

If you’ve lived a normal life, you certainly have. And how do you feel when this person speaks? And maybe… just maybe… people aren't listening to you because you indulge in this yourself. The ‘I Know Everything’ attitude is the biggest recipe for disaster. Not only will you repulse people, but you will also get so neck deep in shit in life that you won’t be able to find your way out. No one knows everything. There is always someone better than you at everything you know or do.

Man or woman has rarely achieved anything without others. Man, by design, is a social animal. Dhoni achieved all he did in the cricket world because he had team members who listened to him. Even Gandhi became the Father of the Nation only after people listened to (and followed) him. If you want to discipline your kids, be popular among friends, climb up the corporate ladder or simply have a gratifying relationship, you need people to listen to you. Nelson Mandela, Benjamin Franklin, Martin Luther King Jr. – they've understood and abided by this ultimate truth. It’s time we did too!

What are other reasons because of which people may not listen to you? Do share your thoughts in comments.

image Courtesy: Google Images

5 Steps on How to KISS!

Not that kiss silly! I’m talking about Keeping It Short & Simple.

We’re hell bent on complicating almost everything we do today. We are weighed down by the need to stay ahead of others. Who can blame us? Competition is cut throat, isn’t it? So we try doing everything differently, doing a lot at once, putting in too much in one thing… you know what I mean.

Let’s simplify life. Simple doesn’t mean easy. But simple is elegant and successful today. Be it the iPhone (simple functions), Gucci (simple designer wear), the art of Zen (simple concepts) or Metallica (simple heavy/thrash metal music).

 

KISS - Keep It Short & Simple

So how do we make things simple, you ask? Well, here are 5 tips to get you started:

• Don’t imitate someone: Companies today try to copy what worked with competition. Likewise, we individuals keep trying to go one–up on peers. Comparing with others impacts how we look at what we have. We end up trying harder; wanting more – more money, more recognition, more assets, more gadgets, more happiness outside… I had talked about howit hurts us and how to get rid of it. The best (and only) yardstick for comparison is YOU! You owe nothing to no one and no one owes anything to you. So measure your success on the basis of your past. Expect rewards depending upon the effort you have put in. Imitation and comparison hurt no one but us.

• Don’t do it all at once: Just because we can doesn’t mean we should. Companies try to incorporate everything they can think of in a new product simply because they can. Musicians try too many things in one song thinking it will become interesting. People work out extra hard in the 1^st month to lose weight expecting miraculous results. Writers try to cram too many points into one sentence/paragraph. You know what happens. Products flop, maintaining them becomes tedious; music doesn’t hit it with the audience; people lose steam instead of weight; the reader loses interest… All this happens just because we try to do it all at once. I know you have plenty of ideas; so many that your head must be buzzing. But try them gradually. Have patience, stay persistent and you’ll taste success. Plus you’ll have a lot more to keep yourself interested.

• Aim to Simplify: Keep asking yourself one question “How can I make this simpler?” It’s a myth that simple is no longer awesome. In fact, simple today is preferred over complex. The simpler you make something, the better it becomes. And believe that you can make it simpler. This applies to music, work, food recipes and even your daily chores.

• Have faith: Everything you want to accomplish takes time. Everything good takes time to evolve. Even those who got successful overnight have been working painstakingly at it for years. If success was easy, everyone would achieve it. Don’t give up because it isn’t working out now. Chota Bheem director Rajiv Chilaka took 7 years to taste success. Jubilant Foodworks streamlined their business for 15 years before they listed on the stock exchange. So many people don’t know how close they were to their goals when they gave up. So have faith; stick it out.

• Know that you’ll be alone: A vast majority of those around you can’t comprehend this. They won’t listen to you. They want to complicate, which is the status quo today. They won’t appreciate you challenging it. They won’t appreciate you trying to change things, even if it’s for their betterment. The longer you hold on, the more likely to succeed. As Gandhi said “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you and then you win.”

Simple today is the need of the hour. Try incorporating it in everything in your life. Simplify your diet, your lifestyle & your thinking and watch your life improve. Simplify your behaviour, your attitude and see your relationships improve. Go on, try it. And thank me in the comments section.

The Real Story Behind the Biggest Revolution in Indian Politics...

Manmohan Singh did not free the Indian economy; P.V. Narasimha Rao did... Let's get that bit straight... I’ll tell you how.

A human bomb killed Rajiv Gandhi in 1991. Narasimha Rao was just about to retire from politics, but the Congress had other ideas. They wanted to make the – according to them, 70 something, unassuming, dull, and balding – politician to be the ‘stopgap PM’ of a government no one thought would last the whole term. But Narasimha Rao unleashed India’s biggest revolution since 1947 during his stint.

He understood India was bankrupt. Yes, WE WERE BANKRUPT! Our currency reserves wouldn’t let us buy oil for more than 2 weeks, especially with crude prices skyrocketing. There were talks of a bailout from the IMF like some EU countries are offered now. Gold reserves worth $2.2 billion had been flown from India to London as collateral for the bailout! The day after he was sworn into office, Rao stated that the government wanted to ‘remove the cobwebs that come in the way of rapid industrialisation... make India internationally competitive, taking full advantage of... opportunities offered by the evolving global economy’. Rao hired non–politicians to do the job – Manmohan Singh as FM and P. Chidambaram as Commerce Minister.

P.V. Narasimha Rao - our nation's hero

Singh devalued the Indian currency by about 20% in 2 days and proposed to abolish export subsidy, which reduced the fiscal deficit by a mammoth 0.4%. Chidambaram, a Harvard M.B.A. graduate, spent a week burning the midnight oil understanding the major issues India faced. Then, with MMS and Montek Singh Ahluwalia, he dismantled the 40 year old ‘Licence Raj’ in about 8 hours. They hurried to Rao’s house at 9 p.m. and he signed the policy. Rao wanted to further delicence all industries except the sensitive ones related to security. But he didn’t go the whole hog immediately. Instead, he arranged for reforms to be released in a phased manner. He had Chidambaram and MMS reword the policies so they seemed in continuation of Rajiv Gandhi’s work. He had friends in the opposition, whom he covertly convinced to support the new policies. He provided incentives to industries for progress. Consequently, India survived an embarrassment and is today viewed as a potential superpower.

It pains to see Rao not credited for the work he did in liberating the Indian economy; the Congress is always mum. Most experts don’t know the names of cabinet ministers of that time. That’s because Rao held those portfolios himself. If it wasn’t for Rao’s grit, political suaveness and in–depth understanding of India’s problems and their solutions, we would all have been neck deep in crap. Neither Manmohan Singh nor Chidambaram or Ahluwalia could have pulled off what they did without backing and support from Rao. No one else could’ve done what he did. Not Gandhi, not Nehru, not his daughter and neither her son.

Here’s a salute to the visionary named P.V. Narasimha Rao; one of the best things that could happen to India. Thanks to him, today we drive good cars, own fancy gadgets and watch English channels on widescreen TVs. India needs more leaders like him to grow, indeed.

Congress Now Fighting Terrorism For Us?

Afzal Guru and Ajmal Kasab hanged within 80 days! I don’t know what’s more amusing; them being hanged or how gleefully we Indians have lapped this up.

Where did the Congress suddenly get these balls from? Until a few days ago, this very party running the government was ordering lathi charges on citizens. It sat twiddling its thumbs while the youth demanded justice for the gang rape victim. The Congress sat on its huge ass since 2009 while the Indian economy almost hit rock bottom. Policy paralysis was talked about daily in newspapers. The government failed to bring about a consensus on retail FDI, GST and other policies which should have been implemented long ago. CWG, the telecom spectrum, coal mine allocation... all these scams and more came to light when the Congress was in power since 2009. Mamata Banerjee dumped the Congress, Mayawati’s support was listed by dropping CBI investigations against her; there was no respite from the Naxalite issue either. Instead, the Congress went around trying to implement Section 144 and banning books which they claimed hurt religious sentiment. Pakistani soldiers beheading Indians was also publicized in the media to distract the Indian population from the Delhi gang rape issue. It was easier to make Pakistan look the villain and shift focus from a matter we called our government to action on. Did that party really find the guts to hang terrorists; something which wasn’t done since 12 years?

Kasab & Afzal Guru hanged?

The biggest terrorists are Congress party leaders themselves. In this article, I’ve pointed out how twisted and malicious Sonia Ghandi is. The news of the terrorists being hanged is a political gimmick. Just like the Americans claiming to have killed Bin Laden and buried his body at sea. So fucking predictable! Why would the Indian government have the terrorists hanged and burn their bodies in a hush – hush manner? Wouldn’t they want to display the dead bodies to showcase what they’ve done? Isn’t that normal human tendency? In my opinion, the jailed terrorists have not being hanged. They are alive and well; probably moved to secret location. The government merely wants to earn some brownie points from us citizens ahead of the 2014 elections.

The Congress has repeatedly violated my motherland in this stint. True, other parties have done and will do the same. But when awareness has increased, why must we behave like we used to a decade ago? The Congress needs a jolt like one they got when they lost out to the BJP. They must realize that they can’t take their power for granted. The jolt in 1996 was enough to galvanize them to action when they came to power in 2004. Our GDP grew substantially and people started predicting India’s bright future. Where are we now?

One thing is certain – I’m not voting for the Congress this time. Fuck that, I’ve never voted for them. Instead, I vote for some independent party worker who will be more passionate about development in my area. We need to show politicians that they cannot live their lives battling accusations of corruption, allow crime to continue and try to distract us from core matters by focusing on petty ones. We expect them to provide us a secure environment – economically and personally. What are you going to do?

image: Courtesy Google Images

4 Lessons From The UP Results For Us...

UP has SPoken! Neither the then incumbent BSP nor the potential competitor Congress managed to succeed; the SP prevailed! I can’t delve into details of intricate political moves as I’m not qualified enough. So let’s focus on something else.

The Samajwadi Party winning by such a large margin was a huge surprise; it caught a lot of politicians and analysts off – guard. But, obviously, there had to be reasons. This is a case more of the BSP losing the election than the SP winning it.

Mayawati’s and Congress’ losses offer a lot of lessons for Corporate Inc. Some of them are elaborated below:

1.      Be genuine: - Hollow actions and words are easily seen through. The media may have hyped Rahul Ghandi’s visits to various areas in UP. But it was not enough for people to believe that RG was genuinely keen on working towards the upliftment of troubled areas in UP.

If your efforts don’t display genuineness, you can kiss a secure future goodbye. Genuine interest for growth of your organization is a must for success.

 

Rahul Gandhi? NO! Mayawati? NO!

2.        Look at the larger picture: - Mayawati, her sycophants and the Congress were busy slinging mud at each other, while the Samajwadi Party maintained its business friendly image. Congress pointed fingers at Mayawati’s corruption while the latter kept playing the Dalit card, refuting the Congress, etc. In the end, they both lost out mainly because they failed to see the bigger picture. The picture which promised hope and growth to business and common man in UP, something the SP did very well.

If you focus on only what your competition is doing, you’ll lose sight of the bigger picture (i.e. what value you can add for your customers). The cat takes the fish while monkeys are busy fighting over it.

Some Interesting Pointers About Sonia Gandhi...

Dr. Subramanium Swami, in his letter to Dr. Manmohan Singh asking for permission to file a legal case against Sonia GHANDI, brought out some interesting facts (Yes! I know they've not been proven in court yet):

1. Sonia Gandhi manipulated Rajiv Gandhi to abet the crime in the Bofors gun purchase committed by Ottavio Quattrocchi against the nation. She stationed her brother – in – law, Walter Vinci, in Sweden to influence her husband to finalize the deal.

2. When the law started catching up with Ottavio Quattrocchi in the early 90s, the Congress Government (led by late Narasimha Rao) allowed him to quietly escape India. However, his accounts where money was stashed still stayed frozen. Subsequently, under pressure from Sonia Gandhi, the leader of the UPA, the CBI quietly allowed Quattrocchi to withdraw the money stashed in India. The then Solicitor General of India was sent to London to facilitate the deal.

3. Sonia Gandhi holds money in Switzerland (more than $2 billion in 1991) as a legatee, the corrupt money which was banked in the name of her late husband or deposited by her of funds obtained from the erstwhile KGB, or by sale of illegally exported antiques into the country. Many intelligence reports in the 80s stated that Rajiv Gandhi had received a lot of money from the KGB of USSR as bribe and kickbacks.

4. In 1972, Sonia Gandhi was exposed as functioning as a benami insurance agent of public sector insurance companies and giving her address as that of the Prime Minister of India. Consequently, Mrs. Indira Gandhi informed the Rajya Sabha that Mrs. Sonia Gandhi resigned from that agency earning commissions.

5. From 1973 – 1975, she held the position of MD of Maruti Technical Services on salary despite it being an offense against FERA. Later, she became MD of Maruti Heavy Industries Pvt. Ltd. with an even bigger remuneration. Justice AC Gupta found her guilty of multiple offences under FERA & IPC.

6. Sonia Gandhi acquired Indian citizenship at record speed in 1983. She did not submit documents from the Italian government to relinquish her Italian citizenship. In 1992, she retrieved her passport which effectively means cancellation of her Indian citizenship.

7. Sonia Gandhi was interested in applying as prime minister in 2004. Her citizenship made her application void, but she was willing to override that using 340 party members for support. When Dr. Subramanium Swami brought out this clause of her nationality, Dr. Manmohan Singh was brought in to save face at the last minute. Thus, the so called SACRIFICE of hers was actually an eye wash.

8. These facts were put together under a full page advertisement in New York Times in 2008 by NRIs. The Congress Party filed for a $200 million defamation suit against the NRIs, but Sonia Gandhi refused to appear in court and be cross examined. Therefore the case was dismissed.

9. Sonia Gandhi gave a sworn affidavit as a candidate that she studied English at Cambridge University. According to Cambridge University, there is no such student ever.

10. Sonia Gandhi was one of 13 benefactors from pay – offs in the Iraqi Oil – for – Food scam of 2002. She received oil for support from the now deceased Saddam Hussain for support for Iraq. She sold the oil at market price through Mark Rich, a notorious swindler who was convicted by the US court for 350 years.

11. Hassan Ali, currently being protected by the Congress, was involved with Adnan Khassogi, the international arms dealer, who was found to have supplied arms to the LTTE for the assassination of Rajiv Gandhi in 1991.

12. He, who had nothing 10 years back, had billions in his and his associates accounts by 2006. The probe into him was rendered directionless which indicates the government was keen, even desperate, to bury the Ali case.
 

13. On the next day after the raid on his house, Ali’s collaborator Kasinath Tapuriah told the ED that two senior Congress leaders had been protecting him and introduced both of them. Hassan Ali, who was hiding from the ED/IT Department, stayed in a Lonavla bungalow from July to December paying Rs. 5,000 per day.

These facts have not been proved, but the GHANDI family (please note Indira was also never a Gandhi but a GHANDI) has never disputed these allegations and others. Just makes one want to reflect on whether we really want HER son to take up the PM position in future.